Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He shit in the fireplace
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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