In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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