Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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