I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
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He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
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I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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