Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
