just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
