So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
