would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
