nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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