I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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