I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
