Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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