fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
