So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
