we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
