Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
