Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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