Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
