If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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