So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
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She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
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CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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