I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
