I will die if light touches me.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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