Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
