he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
