I'm sorry my penis didn't work
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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