you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Acid is not a monday night drug
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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