Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
