is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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