these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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