Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
