If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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