It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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