Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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