the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I miss vodka workout Fridays
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
