hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
