Christians are straight up FREAKS
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
