I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
im holly from the hills drunk
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
