Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
its not stalking. its research.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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