I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
