I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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