Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The adults are the big ones right?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
