dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She even gives head with a lisp.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
