dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Randomize
