Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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