i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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