They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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