do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
