i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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