I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just pynch a tree in the face
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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