is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Do vagina's smell?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
