I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
