Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
