White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
God, I missed his penis.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
