Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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