I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This is not my ceiling
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
