i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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