If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
