Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He better not be in your backpack
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
