Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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