check it out our google latitudes are spooning
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
