so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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