I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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