1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize