oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize