dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
